Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The New Wit Behind the Ears
Don't be scared.
There once was a girl called Cotton who wrote a little blog nicked Wit, the girl loved the blog, and the blog loved the girl.
(Or maybe it was the readers of the blog that loved the girl. Nay matter, lots of love was felt in every direction.)
The girl was only a girl, even though her candles counted 31.
The girl wrote about butt cracks and cleavage cracks, about God and unhealthy meals.
The girl laughed in the face of other bloggers, who claimed to be 'keepin it real'.
Real is greasy hair and goggles, it's dinner that comes from a box.
Real means sometimes she nails it, sometimes she misses the mark.
But there came a time when that girl missed the mark, more often than not.
A lightly attended wake was held in her honor.
Oh what oh what, was the girl to do? Abandon her life so she could write? And if she did, what life would she then write about?
So the girl linked arms with another less than perfect blogger (sorry, yo it's true) and together they shouted we can do this!
"C'mon" cried Blossom, "We've got work to do!"
Balancing blogging with life, I pretty much suck at.
I get an undeniable thrill writing Wit. There's freedom that comes with finally releasing my thoughts about cleavage, confessing that I sometimes don't wear pants, and on more than one occasion have completely run out of clean silverware. Better than anything is when you the reader tell me not only are you not wearing any pants, but all of your tops are turtle necks and you've now employed your children gathering twigs in the backyard to use as chopsticks.
It's 'green living,' you claim.
A friend recently told me that ultimatums are underrated in effectiveness.
That sounded good to me...
So I tried it.
My life told my blog, "It's you or me baby!"
I'm not going to lie. Tears were shed, and a lot of finger pointing went on. My blog had it's bags packed and one foot out the door before my life went running after it.
"Please don't go! I didn't mean it! We can work this thing out!"
And that's when my blog and my life sat down and hashed out the details of a peaceful coexistence.
The following is what they came up with...
I need some help, yo.
I can't deliver quality posts, and comment on other blogs regularly, while also delivering quality meals and clean socks with semi regularity to the people I've given birth to, or to the man that I've...
Never mind.
What I mean to say is, I linked arms with anther would be daily blogger (if it weren't for her own dirty socks) to see if maybe we could attempt to blog together in a week, what most of you are capable of, on your own, before breakfast.
This other blogger has one, and only one, sure thing in common with me...
We're both giant suckers.
But other than our sucker status, and willingness to 'give it a go', we are completely and totally different.
We have different writing styles, taste, ideas and dreams.
All of that combined should make for an pretty interesting blog.
Whether that interest is generated from the sheer brilliance we're sure to produce, or the total train wreck of two women strangers... picked to live in a blog... work together and have their lives documented...
To find out what happens... when people stop trying to do it all... and start getting real.
The Real Wit.
Located at WitBehind.com
Friday, January 28, 2011
And I'm outta here.
This, some of you may know, is a cotton blossom. I love how delicate and old fashioned its petals are.
When the flower first blossoms it's white, then over the next two days it deepens in color to a lovely dark pink.
When that time arrives the blossom has run it's course. I'm feeling a lot like that blossom, and know that farmrazed.blogspot.com has run it's course.
But after a cotton blossom has done what it was here to do, and fades away, something even better replaces it...
Something more valuable, useful, and if you ask me, every bit as lovely.
But totally and completely different, y'all.
Wit Behind the Ears is coming back. Over the next week my team and I, are going to be busting hump (What on earth does that expression mean anyway? Please don't tell me if it's dirty.) to bring you a brand new and improved WIT.
I am hopeful that you will love it, that it benefits and adds to your life in someway. No longer am I content to take up valuable bits of your day, unless I can be sure that I am doing my best to give you something meaningful in return.
I love you all to pieces,
Anna
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Curiously...
The only thing out there that day that could've possibly been responsible for the grit around her mouth...
Was the worm pot.
********************
The $20 gift code giveaway from the previous post is still open.
Just be sure to read the directions, many of the entries so far will be DQd.
Hey! Better odds for you, right?
Monday, January 24, 2011
Traditional Meets Modern and a Giveaway!
One of my favorite looks in the design world happens when traditional is mixed with modern. I don't think anything looks quite as fresh as a modern lamp sitting on a 100 year old desk, or an antique, desilvered mirror hanging above the crisp modern lines of a parsons table.
Photo info and credit located on the Notebook page of this blog.
Take the above kitchen for instance. The use of marble, custom cabinetry, nickle cup handles, a farm sink, and an unusual island, all make for a perfectly lovely traditional kitchen.
But what takes this kitchen from very nice, to Country Living Magazine worthy, is the bold use of modern color in the accessories, and the stand apart lines of the bar stool.
That's right. Something as simple as one bar stool has the power to transform, update, and make your space stand out.
If you love all things modern, try mixing it up with something from your grandma's attic, and see if you don't just love the results.
Or, if you're like me and your house looks like you're already living in grandma's attic, start hunting for that perfect piece of modern furniture to breath some life into your space.
In honor of mixing it up a bit, CSN is hosting a giveaway here today for a $20 gift code for use at any of their awesome online stores.
Don't know about CSN yet? Here, read this:
With over 200 unique sites, ranging from luxebycsn.com to cookware.com, we carry just about everything (including the kitchen sink...). We would love to help you reward your US and Canadian readers with a CSN gift code giveaway. Your winner gets to pick exactly what they want from our inventory of over 2 million products!
What's the catch? Not a thing!
You don't have to be a follower. (Some of my most active readers and commenters aren't.)
You don't have to grab a button. (Because then I'd have to like, make one, yo.)
You don't have to tell 6 friends. (Although, I would certainly appreciate it if you spread the word.)
You don't have to have a blogger or google account. (I'll explain below.)
Anyone can enter, even you!
All you have to do to is click the blue "modern furniture" link above, and find one thing that you could see yourself incorporating into your home. Then come back here and share a link to that item in today's comment section. That's it! And you'll be entered to win a $20 gift code to be used at any of CSN's 200+ stores!
Below is a tutorial for those new to leaving comments and sharing links.
The drawing will be closed Thursday at midnight. (central time) I'll announce the winner Friday, but that won't be all I announce... I've got big news people, big news!
Happy Shopping Y'all!
**********************
Don't have a blogger account or know how to leave a comment? No problem!
1)Click on the blue comment link below. (It's all the way at the bottom of today's post, underneath the three pictures of my previous posts.)
2)At the bottom of the list of comments already left will be a box. Paste your modern furniture selection link into the box.
3)There will be an option below the box that says "Comment as" if it is easiest for you, simply click anonymous. That way you don't have to register for an account if you don't already have one.
4)Be sure to leave your first name and an email address or another way for me to contact you if you win. Email addresses will be used for contacting the winner of this giveaway ONLY, and will be deleted at the close of the giveaway.
5)When leaving your email address, please write it like this example:
annaATwitbehindDOTcom
That way, no spam bots can use your email addy to send you love notes.
Don't know how to share a link? It's easy!
1) At the top of your screen inside a little bar, should be an address that starts with http://
(You'll see farmrazed.blogspot in that address, because that's where you are now.)
2) When you get to the Modern Furniture site (by following the blue link in the above post) find something that you like.
3) Then take your mouse up to the address bar and right click it. (It should turn the whole address blue.)
4 )Now click on the word: cut, that showed up when you right clicked. (See it took it away!)
5) Now you've got that address with you in your mouse.
6) Your next step would be to open up a comment box (see above)
7) Then leave a note like: "Here's something I like:"
8) Now right click again.
9) This time you want to hit paste. Awesome, You're done!
Below in the comment section the first two comments are going to be from me, as an example of what I'm looking for.
Still can't figure it out? Go ahead and email me at: anna@ witbehind .com (no spaces) and I'll talk you through it!
Photo info and credit located on the Notebook page of this blog.
Take the above kitchen for instance. The use of marble, custom cabinetry, nickle cup handles, a farm sink, and an unusual island, all make for a perfectly lovely traditional kitchen.
But what takes this kitchen from very nice, to Country Living Magazine worthy, is the bold use of modern color in the accessories, and the stand apart lines of the bar stool.
That's right. Something as simple as one bar stool has the power to transform, update, and make your space stand out.
If you love all things modern, try mixing it up with something from your grandma's attic, and see if you don't just love the results.
Or, if you're like me and your house looks like you're already living in grandma's attic, start hunting for that perfect piece of modern furniture to breath some life into your space.
In honor of mixing it up a bit, CSN is hosting a giveaway here today for a $20 gift code for use at any of their awesome online stores.
Don't know about CSN yet? Here, read this:
With over 200 unique sites, ranging from luxebycsn.com to cookware.com, we carry just about everything (including the kitchen sink...). We would love to help you reward your US and Canadian readers with a CSN gift code giveaway. Your winner gets to pick exactly what they want from our inventory of over 2 million products!
What's the catch? Not a thing!
You don't have to be a follower. (Some of my most active readers and commenters aren't.)
You don't have to grab a button. (Because then I'd have to like, make one, yo.)
You don't have to tell 6 friends. (Although, I would certainly appreciate it if you spread the word.)
You don't have to have a blogger or google account. (I'll explain below.)
Anyone can enter, even you!
All you have to do to is click the blue "modern furniture" link above, and find one thing that you could see yourself incorporating into your home. Then come back here and share a link to that item in today's comment section. That's it! And you'll be entered to win a $20 gift code to be used at any of CSN's 200+ stores!
Below is a tutorial for those new to leaving comments and sharing links.
The drawing will be closed Thursday at midnight. (central time) I'll announce the winner Friday, but that won't be all I announce... I've got big news people, big news!
Happy Shopping Y'all!
**********************
Don't have a blogger account or know how to leave a comment? No problem!
1)Click on the blue comment link below. (It's all the way at the bottom of today's post, underneath the three pictures of my previous posts.)
2)At the bottom of the list of comments already left will be a box. Paste your modern furniture selection link into the box.
3)There will be an option below the box that says "Comment as" if it is easiest for you, simply click anonymous. That way you don't have to register for an account if you don't already have one.
4)Be sure to leave your first name and an email address or another way for me to contact you if you win. Email addresses will be used for contacting the winner of this giveaway ONLY, and will be deleted at the close of the giveaway.
5)When leaving your email address, please write it like this example:
annaATwitbehindDOTcom
That way, no spam bots can use your email addy to send you love notes.
Don't know how to share a link? It's easy!
1) At the top of your screen inside a little bar, should be an address that starts with http://
(You'll see farmrazed.blogspot in that address, because that's where you are now.)
2) When you get to the Modern Furniture site (by following the blue link in the above post) find something that you like.
3) Then take your mouse up to the address bar and right click it. (It should turn the whole address blue.)
4 )Now click on the word: cut, that showed up when you right clicked. (See it took it away!)
5) Now you've got that address with you in your mouse.
6) Your next step would be to open up a comment box (see above)
7) Then leave a note like: "Here's something I like:"
8) Now right click again.
9) This time you want to hit paste. Awesome, You're done!
Below in the comment section the first two comments are going to be from me, as an example of what I'm looking for.
Still can't figure it out? Go ahead and email me at: anna@ witbehind .com (no spaces) and I'll talk you through it!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
My Friend, Sebastian Black,
who is also known as, Rep, occasionally goes by 'what's his face', Mr.@Stake (to you), and is sometimes called Sebby, known for his reputation, which is rumored to be at stake, but never, ever, known as TS (unless you're just confused) most affectionately referred to as Stupid Butt, has written a book.
Ignore the "unpublished" part...
because the book is in fact being published right now, as we type, over on his stupid butt blog,
So far, he's published the prologue and first two chapters for our reading pleasure.
Or angst.
The thing isn't exactly a comic strip.
I fancy myself a bit of an authoress myself.
True story.
Yep, I've penned a few works in my time.
The fact that they've been turned down for publishing, even by charities, matters little.
They still have the power to SUCK YOU IN.
"Gripping." says TS Hendrik
Of the highly acclaimed, Non-Review
And even if he didn't say 'gripping' in so many words,
gripping is exactly what he thinks of my book,
You see, it was when I published that enthralling, dare I say mesmerizing, riveting, and engrossing tale... here on Wit, that Mr Hendrik first visited, found himself transfixed, and hasn't been able to get away since.
That's the power of my story Diggin up Bones.
Imagine who else might be gripped like a fly to flypaper if I were to publish any more of my masterpieces?
Who knows... Maybe ol' Siskel and Ebert themselves will pop in for a visit.
He's what?
Oh.
Well that's two thumbs down.
Anyway, soon, very very soon, in honor of old Sebby Stupid Butt up there honoring us with his book, I'm going to honor you with another one of mine.
You'll feel honored, I feel sure.
**************************
What about you? Any other would be authors among us?
Go ahead and leave a link in the comment section if you've published any of your unpublished works, I'd like to read them. And please feel free to join us over at The Stupid Bet for what's sure to be a rousing good time, full of people being shot at and whatnot.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
What the heck is flowbee....
and other stupid comments of 2010...
If he ever gets one of those talking dog collar thingies like they have on Up, I am in deep kimchee.
BUT WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR AND MY STUBBORN BELLY FAT?
Therefor Stupid Butt... wherefore are you???
wow it really does suck to be you...
This is Mr. M. I heard you were having computer problems, the wife sent me
Mr. M... I love you! (Sorry Alaina, I do and it is all your fault.)
I don't have blond moments, I have blond years.
I wrote "jumping(fast-like)". This was followed by a drawing of ninja. The thing is, I can remember that this was funny, and that I was giggling when I wrote it down, but I have no idea what it means.
My boys had poker straight hair until puberty...now they are all curls...I am past puberty and not near menopause so whats up.
No, I don't know why, but now that I know it's pandemic (two or more people affected) I'm going to find out!
What's Facebook?
So this is how my sign read, after much time spent at the computer makin' it all fancified. Printing out multiple copies mind you, HATS $15 each or two for $35
Is it just me or do you have to reread Cottons posts just to GET it.....
Irony? TS? I once wrote this on facebook: "It's because I'm a smartie!!!"
Now that's what they call ironie.
She asked me if I wore my shoes home that night, well yeah, of course.
Could I please go and look at those shoes.
Well I'll be damned, those are NOT my shoes.
"Sometimes ups, outnumber the downs, but not in Nottingham." Cartoon rooster singing his heart out. Can't top that.
Tom Cruise (crazy farm)
John Travolta (Grease Lightning)
George Bush (Perfect in every way.)
My favorite jokes are the ones that virtually no one gets.
Do you need a farm to send your kids to? I don't mean 'to the farm' in the way that your parents meant it the last time you saw Fluffy, you'll get your kids back.
I didn't know about Wordless Wednesdays. No one ever told me about those, and so it's not totally my fault. Does this apply to all bloggers, or just you? Because I've been innocently and ignorantly using words every wednesday for ever and ever. And Ever.
I don't know where those preposterous allegations came from, that I was paid off by your PADD guy to tell him your location. I've never even heard of the guy. Besides, the 20 bucks he was offering me was way too low. I demanded 30, we settled on 26, I gave him your neighbor's address, and somehow he figured it out.
PADD stands for Plumbers Against Drunk Dripping.
Don't ask.
I just wrote both of your name's on the wall of a public rest room: For a good time read these blogs.
Given the choice - Texas or bust - I'll take the trip to Texas. I already have a bust.
After an extensive investigation, I've located the other cotton ball. (If you recall, there was only one in the dryer, even though I swear two went in.)
I most certainly cock-a-doodle-don't!
Actually, I have no idea what you mean...I'm sure it'll click in about 6 weeks.
Ha, you said butt. <--- maturity of a 2 year old.
Wordless comment. Oh, no wait... Dang it.
We never had a pet that we paid for, or even asked for. In fact we had a fish once, but it was given to us with a tank and everything. Let me know if you can tell whether we liked the fish:
We named it "Lunch."
Me: "Ugh...I avoid looking at mirrors at all costs. I don't mind posting dorky pics of me because it's good for morale...but as for me? No way am I lookin at it if I don't have to."
Her: "Stop fishing. You're gorgeous."
Me: "Ya know how when you first meet someone and they are nothing special or maybe even slightly 'off' looking? But then you get to know them and suddenly they are beautiful to you, because you love them?"
Her: "I guess?"
Me: "You love me."
Her: "What-EVER!"
Me: "No really! Just yesterday, TS made a comment about how Angelina's lips...
Her: "SEE!!! What do I tell you??? You look just like her...you have her mouth!!!"
Me: "Shut up for a minute, will ya? He said that her lips look like a butt crack."
Her: "Oh."
You will need to get down and put your ear as close as you can to the floor and squeal like a pig. It's the only way to get it out.
If he ever gets one of those talking dog collar thingies like they have on Up, I am in deep kimchee.
BUT WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR AND MY STUBBORN BELLY FAT?
Therefor Stupid Butt... wherefore are you???
wow it really does suck to be you...
This is Mr. M. I heard you were having computer problems, the wife sent me
Mr. M... I love you! (Sorry Alaina, I do and it is all your fault.)
I don't have blond moments, I have blond years.
I wrote "jumping(fast-like)". This was followed by a drawing of ninja. The thing is, I can remember that this was funny, and that I was giggling when I wrote it down, but I have no idea what it means.
My boys had poker straight hair until puberty...now they are all curls...I am past puberty and not near menopause so whats up.
No, I don't know why, but now that I know it's pandemic (two or more people affected) I'm going to find out!
What's Facebook?
So this is how my sign read, after much time spent at the computer makin' it all fancified. Printing out multiple copies mind you, HATS $15 each or two for $35
Is it just me or do you have to reread Cottons posts just to GET it.....
Irony? TS? I once wrote this on facebook: "It's because I'm a smartie!!!"
Now that's what they call ironie.
She asked me if I wore my shoes home that night, well yeah, of course.
Could I please go and look at those shoes.
Well I'll be damned, those are NOT my shoes.
"Sometimes ups, outnumber the downs, but not in Nottingham." Cartoon rooster singing his heart out. Can't top that.
Tom Cruise (crazy farm)
John Travolta (Grease Lightning)
George Bush (Perfect in every way.)
My favorite jokes are the ones that virtually no one gets.
Do you need a farm to send your kids to? I don't mean 'to the farm' in the way that your parents meant it the last time you saw Fluffy, you'll get your kids back.
I didn't know about Wordless Wednesdays. No one ever told me about those, and so it's not totally my fault. Does this apply to all bloggers, or just you? Because I've been innocently and ignorantly using words every wednesday for ever and ever. And Ever.
I don't know where those preposterous allegations came from, that I was paid off by your PADD guy to tell him your location. I've never even heard of the guy. Besides, the 20 bucks he was offering me was way too low. I demanded 30, we settled on 26, I gave him your neighbor's address, and somehow he figured it out.
PADD stands for Plumbers Against Drunk Dripping.
Don't ask.
I just wrote both of your name's on the wall of a public rest room: For a good time read these blogs.
Given the choice - Texas or bust - I'll take the trip to Texas. I already have a bust.
After an extensive investigation, I've located the other cotton ball. (If you recall, there was only one in the dryer, even though I swear two went in.)
I most certainly cock-a-doodle-don't!
Actually, I have no idea what you mean...I'm sure it'll click in about 6 weeks.
Ha, you said butt. <--- maturity of a 2 year old.
Wordless comment. Oh, no wait... Dang it.
We never had a pet that we paid for, or even asked for. In fact we had a fish once, but it was given to us with a tank and everything. Let me know if you can tell whether we liked the fish:
We named it "Lunch."
Me: "Ugh...I avoid looking at mirrors at all costs. I don't mind posting dorky pics of me because it's good for morale...but as for me? No way am I lookin at it if I don't have to."
Her: "Stop fishing. You're gorgeous."
Me: "Ya know how when you first meet someone and they are nothing special or maybe even slightly 'off' looking? But then you get to know them and suddenly they are beautiful to you, because you love them?"
Her: "I guess?"
Me: "You love me."
Her: "What-EVER!"
Me: "No really! Just yesterday, TS made a comment about how Angelina's lips...
Her: "SEE!!! What do I tell you??? You look just like her...you have her mouth!!!"
Me: "Shut up for a minute, will ya? He said that her lips look like a butt crack."
Her: "Oh."
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